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Tuesday, 4 November 2014

Life in the fast lane

Have you ever experienced a time in your life where you feel stuck in over worrying, overwhelm or overwork? Sometimes when we try hard to achieve a specific outcome it seems to become more and more elusive to us. We drive ourselves faster and faster. That's because when we are lost in our thinking we are less resilient or purposeful.  We try harder, dig our heels in and continue to berate ourselves.
Meanwhile old habits kick in making you doubt and better doubt yourself. As these insecure thoughts play out in our minds like a brass band,  we give them so much more attention, creating a thought storm of thought habits or a deep mental rut that distracts each of us to our own detriment. Sometimes this over thinking becomes a fear or arouses some anxiety which eventually takes its toll and will either affects our performance, or at worst affect relationships.

I had the privilege of coaching a CEO over a time, listening to his lament of how busy and fast life was and as he described every detail of all the things (and all the people) that irritated him I listened.  (I have heard similar stories from social workers, teachers and parents I have coached). You see listening and not being caught up in another person's thinking - or your own, listening with nothing at all on your mind is crucial. There is nothing calmer than another person being fully present to you. Not a colluding presence agreeing and joining in with a person's thinking, but as one who hears between the spaces of the words quietly. It is as if time slows down and a deep simple feeling of connection occurs. You tune into the other person. In this reflective space your own inner common sense or wisdom can be heard. When I first listened to  the CEO I caught myself thinking "Poor guy" and smiled inwardly as I realised I was getting caught up in HIS thinking instead of pointing back to his inner truth. You see this is the beauty of the Three Principles, it is an inner journey- there is nothing new to learn, no theory to overlay, merely an understanding of how thinking creates our reality from the inside out. Once we realise that it is not external circumstances driving us, not other people or different circumstances,  it is merely our inner thinking creating our personal reality. It's us! WE are the horse not the cart, we are the driver not the car!

Another time I was coaching a young woman who was in complete overwhelm and hardly drew breath for the first fifteen minutes. Thoughts spilled out from her mind like an effervescent drink. As I pointed out her that her mind was full -without space for new thinking to refresh her common sense, she reflected for just one simple moment and it was long enough for her to laugh and to take time to hear her own wisdom. She was playing out a belief from her younger self, one that her Mum also had. This belief brought fear and anxiety about 'doing everything properly' and in not knowing what properly was (she had  previously assigned the understanding to the grown ups) she lived out this made up thinking reality. Once this young woman was still enough to reflect and to hear her own wisdom pointing to the truth that this was not her, her eyes lit up. We then had a powerful discussion of her new reality, with reflection time. From this clearer thinking more resilient place she created a new dream.

Let me share a little of how our mind works and how we could take our foot off the gas and slow things down more. Slowing things down creates ease and clarity. It points us to our true self and uncovers the innate well being we all have. When we experience thoughts we are creating our own reality, projecting  and re-projecting out into our lives. We live in the feeling of our thinking and these old stuck thought beliefs project on to our screen like a movie channel or gold channel on sky tv. This mental projection plays out really well in relationships and in the work place. The good news is that we can change channels and the simplicity of the three principles, that innate wisdom that occurs when we understand that we CAN change channels. From wisdom we are clear and purposeful once more. The beauty of this work is that the principles are an inherent part of our human experience, there is nothing to do...nothing to learn and all to experience.

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